New Years Resolutions.

I don’t usually make New Years Resolutions, they just make you feel shitty about yourself when you break them.

I prefer to set myself targets like doing the Race for Life or registering as a bone marrow donor or helping to install the Tower Poppies last year. Realistic targets that have no reward but to just feel good about what I’ve done.

Well this year my Resolution is to set myself at least one target a week where I carry out at least one random act of kindness every week with no expectation of reward… That’s 52 selfless acts in 2015 that make a difference to someone but my only reward is to feel good about what I’ve done.

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Posted by on January 1, 2015 in Believe, Life, Things to do, Thoughts


Sharing the Seasonal Love. Part 2

So we finally handed in the toys we collected for our local Social Services Children & Family dept.
Here was the final mountain!!


A huge HUGE Thank You to all the people that dropped off a toy or two at this time of year when money is tight. You are all amazing people.
Thank You. xxx

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Posted by on December 15, 2014 in Care Leaver, Kids, Parenting, Thoughts


Sharing the Seasonal Love.

This year we decided that though we’re not in London now and there isn’t so many Children’s Homes around here, there are still children in the care system that aren’t as lucky as other children, this especially shows at this time of year.
So I decided that we would organise our own toy collection that we would present to Social Services for them to allocate the right gifts to the right children.
We started buying a few extra little bits here and there…


Then the word got around and more people started to give us toys!
So far we have quite a stack of toys tormenting my own children!
They know where they’re going so they’re happy about it.
I am so proud of the people I live around, they are so kind and generous at a time where money is short and we all have our own children to make happy.
A huge thank you to those that have and those who are still going to donate. We hope to deliver them on or around the 12th of December so I hope we have even more by then!!


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Posted by on November 30, 2014 in Uncategorized


Magic Elf Elfcapades!

I’ve finally written the list for this year’s elfcapades! Better late than never seeing as it all starts tomorrow!
The children got their letters from Santa in yesterday’s post, the elves are on their way in the next few day!
So the fun begins…


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Posted by on November 30, 2014 in Uncategorized


Preparations for the Magic Christmas Elf…

Well, in our house we have 2 magic elves that visit us and stay for December, going home to the North Pole with Santa on the 24th December when the presents are delivered.

We have a girl and a boy elf and they get up to all sorts of mischief while we’re all asleep.
We decided not to have the ‘Elf on a Shelf’ style elf, we opted for the ever so cute Peppermint Elves by Gund.


This will be the 4th year that my youngest 2 children have had the elves visit and the ideas are running dry!

We’ve ‘tweaked’ previous years antics to make them a little different but I’m not entirely sure how we’re going to thing of 24 new ideas to surprise us all.

We’ve planned the usual, with tweaks…
Magic fairy/elf door appears on the wall on the 1st and a trail of Hershey’s Kisses (or similar) will lead the children to the elves with their letters and sticker charts (for the Naughty or Nice List)

Elves leave instructions to plant red and white tic-tac’s in sugar to ‘grow’ candy canes (never gets old!)

Elves bake cupcakes and make a total mess of the kitchen including ‘flour angels’ on the work tops!

Elves make a gingerbread house!

Elves bring some Xmas crafts with instructions.

Elves decorate Xmas tree with pants and knickers.

Elves draw red noses on everyone while their asleep! (And on the photos with whiteboard markers)

Elves toilet roll the children’s bedrooms.

Elves have a cotton wool ‘snowball fight’ with all the other toys.

Elves ‘dress up’ in doll’s clothes.

Elves make a chocolate and sweet picnic breakfast!

Elves make a zip wire from the curtain pole to the sofa/obstacle course of furniture!

Elves make a table tent.

Elves bring Xmas cards to write to classmates.

And we’re still planning…
Ideas welcome!

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Posted by on September 17, 2014 in Uncategorized



I absolutely don’t know where to start with this because there is so much involved and it’s all very raw and jumbled at the moment.


To cut a long story short, I met my husband because his brother D and my cousin K were a couple with children… Unfortunately those children were neglected at best.
Anyhow to cut a very very long story short, while they were expecting baby #3 they had their 2nd house fire and K’s younger sister… my 16 year old cousin Jodie, and her (our) nieces, 2 year old Lou and 1 year old Becky were trapped upstairs. After Lou had collapsed unconscious, Jodie (we would assume consumed by smoke and knowing smoke inhalation is what kills people in fires) dropped Becky out of the window in a bid to save her life and afterwards dropped herself out. Tragically Jodie (our hero) died that sad day 3rd June 1998 and Becky’s life support was switched off a few days later on the 6th June 1998.
Within 2 years of the fire D and K’s relationship went sour and they had premature twin sons who didn’t survive who were buried in the same grave as Becky, and their (by now) 3 children were ever more neglected and finally taken into care where they stayed.

Anyway, now it’s been 16 years and we went to the grave this year and this is what we discovered. (Bearing in mind that Becky’s birthday was last month and tomorrow is the anniversary of the fire)


Now the cross has been there for around 12 years or so and has Becky’s name and date of her death wrong.
It was put there by her dad, and he also omitted K’s name and just put his and the siblings names on.
Well we tidied it up and put fresh flowers on there but now we’ve decided to try to raise the money for the headstone ourselves. Those babies deserve better than to be neglected by their parents in their deaths as they were in their lives.


The people who should care (these babies Mummy and Daddy) don’t care about those babies enough to take cards, flowers etc to the grave on their birthdays or anniversaries.
Their parents have moved on and are in relationships and have had more children…
Their parents don’t care enough about putting a few quid away every year to mark the grave with something more that a hashed cross. Their siblings aunties, uncles and nanny deserve to have somewhere they can pay their respects (though most of the uncles aunties and the nanny have always been reluctant to go to the grave due to the arguments it causes… The children were used as pawns when they were alive and their grave has been used in the same way.)
But now we are hoping to raise the funds between us to buy the headstone that they deserve.

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Posted by on June 2, 2014 in Uncategorized


Here We Go Again…

Where do I begin?…
I’m in familiar surroundings yet I feel lost. I’m surrounded by people yet I feel so alone. I want to scream how I feel from the rooftops yet I’m silent.
I know the signs, the symptoms of PTSD…. I’ve learnt to recognise the signs and somehow I accept it as it’s part of ‘me’ but I know it’s hard for those around me to deal with.
I often find it hard to admit that I’m a sufferer because people associate PTSD with the armed forces and they don’t even know that it’s possible for anyone else to be diagnosed with it.
I’ve been feeling depressed and the anxiety and insomnia is back. I’m desperately distancing myself from people that don’t really know me and clinging to people that do. I’m a bit of an emotional wreck on the inside but cool, calm and collected on the outside. I’m ready to snap and trying so hard to keep a grip…
I just wish it would go away and let me be happy and positive again .

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Posted by on May 8, 2014 in Care Leaver, The Past.


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