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New Years Resolutions.

I don’t usually make New Years Resolutions, they just make you feel shitty about yourself when you break them.

I prefer to set myself targets like doing the Race for Life or registering as a bone marrow donor or helping to install the Tower Poppies last year. Realistic targets that have no reward but to just feel good about what I’ve done.

Well this year my Resolution is to set myself at least one target a week where I carry out at least one random act of kindness every week with no expectation of reward… That’s 52 selfless acts in 2015 that make a difference to someone but my only reward is to feel good about what I’ve done.

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Posted by on January 1, 2015 in Believe, Life, Things to do, Thoughts

 

Syria; A Day of Protest

As a mother of 5 beautiful children, it’s easy to consume myself in my own little world creating happy memories for my children and shielding them from the atrocities of the world.

My children are aware of war, my husband was a British soldier and he (we) lost a good friend in Afghanistan and have seen many others go and luckily return, but that’s as much as they need to know, good soldiers fight bad soldiers. They aren’t aware of the civilians caught up in bloody conflict.

I was horrified when I read the article ‘Syria: the tipping point’ in The Times on Wednesday.

Last Friday, 49 children were killed in Houla by President Assad’s Shabiha thugs. Killed…. not just killed, horrifically murdered, some shot, some knifed with machetes, some had limbs hacked off, heads or faces sliced off, eyes gouged out, you get the jist.

108 civilians were executed, 34 were women and 49 were children, some babies wearing just nappies, some toddlers but all innocent.

The world cannot just sit here and watch this happen, we have to do something. These were innocent people… Whole families were slaughtered in their own homes and their homes ransacked and torched while we were tucking our children up in their warm safe beds.   Our children who only by sheer luck, were born into our families, in our safe countries with us being able to tuck them into bed unafraid of any real threat.

Syria’s honorary consul general in California said Wednesday he has defected from the regime of  President Bashar Assad in protest of the killings last week in the town of Houla.

Hazem Chehabi, reached at his home in Orange County, said he had resigned his post and severed association with Assad’s government in protest of the attack Friday that left more than 100 Syrians dead, most of them women and children.

“You get to a point where your silence or inaction becomes ethically or morally unacceptable,” Chehabi said, describing the Houla killings as a “barbaric” incident with which he couldn’t be associated.” (LA Times)

The Uk Parent Bloggers have united today in a call for action in Syria. We need our voices to be heard loud and clear with the same message…. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN.

We are ONE WORLD, they are OUR CHILDREN, we cannot sit on our sofas watching this on the news and do absolutely nothing!

If you do nothing else today please do this… Don’t just look away…

  1.  Please sign this  Save the Children petition now, calling on world leaders to put in place an immediate and legally binding “Resolution to Protect Children” that carries the full force of international law on those attacking children and other civilians. Please sign it online… it takes all but 2 minutes.
  2. Sign this Amnesty International petition which is calling on the Russian Minister of Foreign Affairs to ask Russia to stop supplying the Syrian Government with arms.
  3. Sign the Avaaz petition here calling on the UN to protect civilians.

Finally, there is a protest at the Syrian Embassy in London on Sunday 10th June from 12-2pm. If you can support it, please be there.

Please do something, we need to do something to stop this ever happening again.

(Thank you to Dorky Mum where I got details of the petitions and protest)

 
 

Neglecting my Blogging Responsibilities!

Just a quick message to say Hi.

My blog been neglected of late but I have had lots going on.

#4 is only 4 years old and has had some health issues and is under a Paediatrician, Respiratory Clinic, Dietitian, ENT specialist… He’s had teeth out, blood tests, heart scans, special diets and is due for a sleep study soon.

#3 is having his own issues with the ASD.

#1 is doing well at uni and #2 is still looking for work.

Other than that, things are ok and we’re getting through these tough times!

Be back soon guys.

 

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Reasons for the Thuggery… Excuses, Excuses.

Now for the bit that makes me really angry… The reasons that are being given for all this madness…

Now please bear with me and accept my utmost apologies for the swearing, when things upset me, they REALLY upset me.

These kids have spent the last 4 nights hunting in packs, acting like feral animals and causing absolute chaos in their own communities!

Something my grandad used to say rings in my ears… “Don’t shit on your own doorstep. Even cats won’t shit in their own back garden.” These kids didn’t give a shit… most of them seemed that unconcerned at getting caught that they didn’t even cover their faces and there were cameras everywhere, some were taking footage on their own phones!

On sky news was a lad of about 15/16yrs old, his face covered and when asked by the reporter why his face was covered if he was law-abiding, he replied “I’m not law-abiding though.” he continued to say that he was there to ‘piss the police off and get money’. What the hell?

Words used have been ‘deprived’, ‘oppressed’, ‘disadvantaged’. I’m so sorry but this is a complete crock of shit!

This poor disadvantaged youth of today with their ‘uniforms’ of £90 Nike trainers, £35 trackies & £50 hoodies… they have no future, because they really can’t be arsed to work for minimum wage or quit the weed, they’re deprived of an education because they didn’t work hard enough, therefore failing their GCSE’s and having no respect for their teachers or their education, and disrupting lessons and threatening teachers, and now apparently, they are fighting oppression… They are obviously living in Libya or some other dictatorship because they damn well ain’t living in England!!

We have to admit, it must be a struggle for them to get out of bed after a night on the stella or the weed and drag their lazy arses out of bed before lunchtime to go down the social to sign on every fortnight to get their free money and rent paid.

Oh the poor disadvantaged, deprived, oppressed youth of today. 😦
These kids don’t know real disadvantage!! We are LUCKY to live in this country! I know people who’ve had to look into the eyes of kids with no clothes to wear, their parents have been killed for even uttering what they really think and these kids eat off rubbish tips! Or those kids in the 3rd world countries that are MAKING the clothes these thugs wear, the kids that have to support their families by risking their health and sometimes their lives in jobs where they’re grateful to earn a pittance. Now THAT’S disadvantaged youth with no future!

This was thuggery with a blatant disregard for the rest of society.

These kids DO have a future… if they use their own parents as an example of how NOT to be.

I’m sorry if I offend anyone here, but I can speak from experience… there are way too many people in my generation who are in my position that use their circumstances as a damn excuse to behave badly.

As I’ve mentioned before, I didn’t have the very best start in life but this isn’t an excuse to raise my kids like feral animals.

I was raised in care so does that mean I have to give up on my kids because that’s what my parents did?

I was a teenage single mum on benefits, so does that mean I should think the world owes me and not have ambition?

I lived on a shitty run down council estate, so does that mean I should’ve kept the inside of that flat looking like a shit-hole?

NO, people. You make your own future. You start by not blaming the past, then accepting the present and changing the future.

I am so fucking pissed off with people making damn excuses.

These parents are trash, they cannot have missed the news, if they did, they can’t have missed the High Street was completely trashed!

What the fuck were they doing while their kids (some as young as 9 and 10 years old!!) were smashing the shit out of good hard-working people’s lives and working their way through our cities like a vile cancer, stealing from them up until 2am?!!

Certainly not raising their children like the rest of us!!

Message to these ‘Parents’… Do what the job title says and PARENT your damn kids!!

Stop expecting the streets to raise them because WE live on those streets and WE have to put up with their intimidation, their abuse, their rudeness, their bad manners, and their complete lack of compassion toward their fellow human being.

There’s a problem with the streets raising kids… the people on them your kids are looking up to. That lad was mugged for a bike, beaten up (so badly his jaw was broken), and bleeding profusely he was robbed again. This wasn’t the worst area in London… this was Barking!!

Now I’ve lived in Barking, Bow and Millwall for most of my life, and I lived in NW London for a fair few years (visiting friends on the estates of Barking during that time) and I can honestly say that this is most certainly NOT the norm for Barking. In 30-odd years and with 4 sons, I never even knew of anyone that was mugged in Barking. Sure it happened occasionally, but someone getting beaten by one group of teenagers and then mugged by another? No.

When we lived in NW London 2 of my sons went to the infamous St Georges in Maida Vale, where Headteacher Phillip Lawrence was murdered, and gangs are commonplace in the area and in the school, and muggings and violence commonplace in the areas surrounding the school. Both my eldest sons were mugged at times, and it’s a dangerous place, especially for other youths. Youth on youth crime is the worst. They can’t walk through the estates if they’re not local or their face isn’t known without being in danger. Even though both my kids knew some of the younger gang members from school, out of school things would be very different. If my boys were to go on the estate with someone that lived there to play xbox or something, that kid would get trouble for bringing him.

We lived in NW London and St George’s is West London (or north weezy and weezy!) and the gang fights spilled into school over postcodes. My 17yr old son lost 3 mates that got stabbed to death by the time he was 15. A guy was axed to death 2 mins from my flat at 10am. A bus driver was attacked with a nail gun ‘for a laugh’. A 15 year old was shot in our local chip shop. I’m lucky, I still have my kids. They’ve only been mugged a few times. This was normal for us in NW8. Barking… please don’t glamourise this way of living.

The kids in Barking and other areas (for some ridiculous reason) want to copy what’s going on in London and it’s not big, it’s not hard, and it’s not fucking funny. People die. Mothers never get overthe death of their children. And it never stops. Thank god that Barking isn’t that bad… Yet.

Things can change there, it’s not too late for people to stamp there foot down.
Don’t let your kids see what mine have had to.

PARENTS LISTEN!!


Raise your OWN fucking kids and stop expecting the streets to raise them! Stop sticking them in their bedrooms surrounded by the latest TV, Games Console, DVD’s, Games, Laptops etc. That ain’t parenting!!! That’s fucking neglect!!

Letting 10 year olds play 18rated games full of sex, drugs, car theft, crime and violence seem ok? Will it seem ok when theystops being able to tell the difference between these games and reality? When they’re the ‘youngers’ and running drugs for the ‘mandem’? When they becomes the ‘mandem’ and get shot or stabbed? Seem far fetched?

Open your eyes… look around the estates… at the 15yr old girl pushing a buggy, the 16yr old boy with the tag round his ankle, the mother standing by the hearse with the ‘SON’ wreath…

Mums, set a damn example to your daughters, I don’t want to go to pubs and clubs and see your 13 year old daughter’s breasts barely covered by the ‘top’ only fit for a pole dancer. I certainly don’t need to see her shagging some random fella down some alley on the way home! And YES, it does happen, it happens more often than people think! Dress and act like a MOTHER. YOU decided it was time to have kids, so YOU have to take responsibility for you actions and change your life.

Teach them some goddamn self-respect and self-worth! Set them curfews and boundaries and teach them that they don’t need to give themselves away to men to get noticed. Teach her that ‘Linking’ with a boy and having sex with him and his 3 mates is NOT how it’s supposed to be, and don’t be naive, your daughter’s ARE doing this! Give them a decent male role-model that is going to stick around. Teach them that emulating sexual positions and sounds in public is bloody disgusting and again they should have self respect! Teach her to be a lady!

Teach your son’s to respect women, you are his mother and a woman… he should respect that. Teach him that ‘linking’ up’ with a girl/girls just for sex is not on! Teach your son that his sperm is precious, it’s your potential grandchildren… teach him NOT to share it with just anyone! Teach him self-respect and self-worth. Teach him to respect girl’s reputations. Locker room talk destroys girl’s lives when they’re young. Explain to your sons that when a girl with no self-asteem feels she has to sleep with boys to get them to like her, then get’s treated like shit and dumped, is it fair that she then becomes a ‘slag’ after 2 or 3 disrespecting boys has had their way?

Teach him that to cry is not showing weakness. Teach him that to walk away from a fight is not being a ‘pussy’ but only fight when it’s absolutely necessary. Teach him that when it IS absolutely necessary, that a man fights with his fists… he may be beaten but if he is, he lives to see another day. Teach him to be a gentleman!

DAD’s…. yes you… if you’re still around.

…and I don’t mean when it’s convenient for you, I mean whenever your child NEEDS you to be there.

No girlfriend, friends, sports, pastimes etc. should be more important than your child. Your child needs you even when it seems they don’t. In some areas, good male role models are hard to find, especially in the more deprived areas.

See the connection there???… NO fathers at home with jobs=kids living in poverty!!

Proud of yourself now?

Get a grip. You don’t need to be with your babymother for that child to grow up well, you just need to be there for the child. Not wearing that condom became a lifelong commitment. Was it worth it? It will be one day. If you stick around and raise that child right. YOU need to show your daughters how men should treat women, and show your sons how to be men.

ALL PARENTS.

Teach your children that they have to work hard to get anything or anywhere in life. crime does NOT pay. Good things happen to good people.

Teach them to value and embrace their education, it’s the key to a better future. Teach them ambition, respect, manners, morals, compassion, empathy, values. How to be patient, how to be dignified, how to be gracious. Praise them at every possible opportunity. Talk to them.

Don’t be your child’s best friend, be their parent… they should have enough friends, no kid looks at their mum as their friend! Set rules, boundaries and curfews and stick to them. Set punishments and stick to them. DON’T be afraid to chastise your child! Smacking your child is NOT illegal. I’m not talking about hitting or physically abusing your children, I’m talking giving a naughty child a smack on the hand, the bum or that back of the leg. There IS a clear line between smacking a child and abusing a child, and I should know having been on the receiving end of both. A smack given by a loving parent in a calm, controlled manner isn’t going to cause any lasting emotional or physical damage. It will make them realise what they did was wrong and it displeased you. Almost everyone in our generation was smacked when we were naughty and we all agree that we grew up with love and respect. People nowadays are afraid of their children, that’s not acceptable. I’m not telling you to smack your children… That’s YOUR choice, I’m just telling you that there IS a choice.

Of course love your children… No-one disputes a parent’s love for their child, but actions speak louder than words. A hug, some praise, or just a smile. Lastly, BE THERE when they need you… Even when they don’t seem to want you around, they’ll need you around. Eat dinner together and spend the time getting to know your kids and what they do when you’re not around. You’ll be surprised…
If you work, then ensure someone is there for your kids when you can’t be.

If you’re not sure if you can do it, there’s no shame in signing up to a parenting course.

Parenting is a HUGE commitment. Teach your kids this by example.

1. So they grow up successful.

2. so they don’t find out while they’re still kids.

You may not be able to make your OWN lives a complete success, but you CAN ensure your kids lives are.

I’m still trying… Me and my husband are raising 5 kids in a council house and survive on 17 p/a. Apparently, we’d be better off on benefits but we teach our kids that there’s no such thing as a free-ride. There’s no pride in that.

You work and you may have to work damn hard for very little but you do it… the harder you work and the more you better yourself the better you’ll feel about yourself.

I KNOW my kids will grow up with the right attitudes, the right morals, the right values and hopefully successful.

If YOUR child was out until the small hours last night or in the last few nights & they have new trainers, clothes, phone, laptop, TV, games console, games etc. & YOU didn’t buy them, then it’s time to be a parent and teach your little fuckers darlings right from wrong… give them a bloody good slap and march them down to the nearest police station with their newly aquired belongings & do what you should’ve been doing the last 10-20years!

Step to it, we’re waiting!

Don’t get me wrong, I think the media has a part to play. Alex Rogers from Hackney says it much better than me…

http://ymlp.com/zAqsg9

Until next time….

 

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