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Benefits Street.

Okay, so there’s this new series on a certain TV channel called Benefits Street…

The main characters all live in houses on what appears to be a run down street and they all claim benefits and are unemployed.

I’m totally split in my opinion of the show…

One half of me thinks that the production company has hand picked the worst examples just to turn the country against people that claim benefits.

I’m not going to name the characters or go into details but there are people with poor hygiene, bad etiquette and rough speech going to get their payments then shoplifting alcohol from hardworking shop owners and laughing about it, There are people claiming benefits as single people but are in a relationship who have had their benefits stopped but are complaining that it’s not their fault and the benefits agency is in the wrong, the children are grubby looking and eating crap and the house is a tip… 2 adults are at home all day and the house is a bloody tip… They are rough and brash and if you were walking down the road with them, their calls of “oi wanker” to their friends would make you cringe…

Then the other half of me remembers how my life used to be and what sort of friends I had and I remember the feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness and depression and confinement.

I remember the ‘fuck ’em’ attitude I had towards the world.

In my last few year in care, when I was living in a bedsit at 16/17, I was asleep and the guy from the room next to me snuck into my room, I woke up immediately, I was used to being on alert when I was asleep… he had a hammer in his hand, it was wrapped in a blood stained tea towel and he was trying to hide it. I was terrified so I let him hide it and then he realised I was awake. To cut a very long story short, he forced me to sleep in his bed and lie to the police that we’d been there all night, I had felt safe there until that night. So I clung onto other teens in my position. We’d all sleep over each other’s bedsits, we’d shoplift for food and clothes, we’d spend any cash we got on drugs and alcohol. I didn’t care about what drugs they were, who cared? They blotted out the bullshit of life and made me feel like I was living someone else’s life. I really didn’t care less if they’d kill me, life was seriously shit and I couldn’t handle it without drugs, men and a sharp object to harm myself and anyone else who took the piss. We’d fight, we’d steal, we’d commit criminal damage, we really didn’t care.

I used to sit on the tube watching other 16/17 year old’s with their parents with bags of new stuff, laughing and hugging, on their way home to somewhere safe, they could sleep without fear and I’d seriously feel hatred… no-one was there for me so ‘fuck ’em’… they’d get home and probably realise their purse was missing, the money spent on drugs they’d never have to take to blot out the life they’d never have to live… fuck ’em.

When social services had finished with me at 18, they handed me the keys to a flat 10 miles from where I had been living and a bundle of benefits forms, a leaving care grant of about £500 and a community care grant form (that I had no idea about) and that was it…

I was a scared, pregnant 18 year old girl, standing in a cold empty flat with no support and no idea what I had to do next.

I filled in the forms and messed that right up, I managed somehow to scrape some furniture together and of course I met the locals… I stopped the drugs and tried to sort my life out but knew that the local junkies would get you anything you wanted for a much lower price than the shops… all you needed to say was ” I need a new kettle” and half hour later they’d be on the doorstep with a £50 kettle asking for £20. You could easily haggle it down to a tenner and course you never asked where it was from but of course everyone knew.

People were always getting evicted or going into prison so furniture was easy to get hold of cheap or it’d be dumped at the back of the block for the kids to set alight to later for a bit of entertainment.

I had an on-off relationship with my eldest son’s dad and by 19 I was a single teenage mum of 2 little boys… A right gobby bitch, smoking, drinking, swearing, stealing, fighting, looking for trouble at the same time as trying to stay out of it and the local police knew my details on sight. That was life, it was normal, it had been normal for years… it was what people expected from an angry careleaver, it’s what they expected from a teenage mum and most of us knew no other way.

Then something happened to change my life forever. I woke up and saw things differently, I saw what I was and what I could be. I learnt to value myself and to value those around me. I learnt about ambition, education, about love, about accepting and letting go of the past, embracing the present and jumping headfirst and grasping onto the future.

I learnt to love myself and value my own life and in turn value other people. I learnt compassion and empathy and tolerance.

I did parenting courses, I went to college and gained childcare qualifications, I spent my days trying to be a better mum and a better person. I made better choices, I started working and being productive, I found a boyfriend, he joined the army. Our army friends had no idea of our pasts so it was easy to change, no-one could point the finger and say “That was her that did ****”.

I changed because I was lucky… I am still in touch with my friends that weren’t so lucky, and I’d love nothing more than to change their lives, but it’s so so hard… they’re not getting away from ‘Benefits Street’ any time soon.

I’m not that much better off now, I live in social housing, only just above the poverty line and I can barely afford the bills, I’m unable to afford to replace our broken cooker or carpets and we have no real luxuries.

But now we pay our own way, we never break the law or take drugs, we’re a world away from Benefits Street but I’m under no illusion… it only takes a small action, a marriage split, getting laid off… we’ll be back on Benefits Street and I’m well aware of the struggle to survive…

So when I watch Benefits Street, I watch it with open eyes, I see the state of the woman’s house and see she has no support, she has no reason to keep a tidy house, it’s going to look just as bad with the toys away. The guy drinking is trying to blot out the bullshit of a life with nothing, and it is a life with nothing.

I ask those of you who have nice jobs and live in nice houses in nice areas, would you trade lives with those on Benefits Street? I am assuming the answer is a resounding “HELL NO!” So free money and free housing isn’t a great life.
Have any of you tried to live on £70 a week? £15 on gas, £15 on electricity, £5 tv license, leaving £35 to divide between water rates, food, phone top-up, bus fares, clothes, and everything else a person needs to get by. Now you can see there’s no money to make a home look nice, can you see that the house will never look tidy? Tired old carpets and walls?
And hardly enough to fund a drug or alcohol addiction is there?
And before someone even thinks about that issue of all the benefits claimants owning big TVs etc… Ever heard of Bright House? It’s one of those shops that no matter how bad your credit, you can get a nice modern tv, and better still, you can have it and pay just a few pounds a week… But for a few years! You’ll pay 3 times the rrp for the privilege. A bit like those provident loans where you can borrow £400 to get through Xmas or buy a new sofa but you’ll be paying back £700.
The poorer you are, the more you’re exploited.

You have to be so careful when you’re judging another person’s situation… there is a much bigger picture and no-one is truly happy to live on benefits.

Entry level jobs are hard to get…
You can’t walk onto a building site nowadays an pick up a broom and become a labourer… You need a cscs card before you can get on site. And to get a cscs card you need to be literate, pass an exam and have a few quid for the card… £50 will get you the card alone… Out of your £70 weekly benefit.
The big corporate businesses like British Telecom have sold out our job seekers. Instead of those jobs being available to our unemployed, BT and other companies use call centres in countries like India because it’s cheaper than paying British people a living wage.
And we are constantly being told how single mothers are a drain on the system… But our government is happy to help with child care and pay childminders to look after children so they can force single mums back to work, but are unhappy to pay the mums that same amount to take care of their own children for just a few years?! It makes no sense.

But our government and our media will continue to demonise those on benefits… not the 50% that are pensioners… Nor the disabled (though they are beginning to be targeted) but the 4% of claimants that are unemployed. This is like a modern day witch hunt. Only the media is a much more powerful tool for the hunters….

And remember… Child benefit, DLA, state pensions, housing benefit, child tax credits, working tax credit… These are ALL benefits and those who live in glass houses…

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Kids Being Kids…

Before you read this post, I’d like you to read this article

I read that article this morning and I have to be honest, I thought it was a case of a mum receiving a letter and being a little over-sensitive in her reaction, assuming people had complained about her 3 year old daughter but being a mum I get that, you’re lucky to have a safe area outside your home and let your 3 year old play outside in the fresh air with neighbour’s young children. They pick flowers and bark and act like young children discovering the world around them.

I happen to log into facebook and a certain tabloid rag has a twisted version of this story advertising their latest edition on their page talking about ‘kids running amok and ransacking other people’s garden’s’. This has escalated into a huge thread of people slating this woman’s parenting skills and her children. Comments like @she looks like a little monster!’ and ‘a 3 year old out on the streets, 2 words… BAD PARENTS’ and a barrage of people offering ‘useful’ snippets of advice like ‘social services should get involved’ and ‘the mum should get an asbo’ and ‘the mum should tan her daughter’s backside’.
It’s obvious no-one actually read the article properly, or I’ve totally misread it myself because what I got was that little girls were playing and maybe picking flowers and trampled a few plants. There has been some degree of anti-social behaviour in the area so the police decide to issue each house with a warning about how anti-social behaviour won’t be tolerated. This mum felt as there wasn’t a problem in their particular road, that it was aimed at her children and got defensive. Why do tabloid rags have to turn it into ‘Britain’s youngest child threatened with an ASBO’???
Let’s get this into perspective now, they’re not smashing neighbour’s windows or shouting profanities or smoking drugs or stealing cars, they’re picking flowers… that’s what children do.

My children have spent the best part of the last 2 weeks exploring our local woods, discovering plants, (and yes, picking some!) collecting sticks, leaves and basically being children! We’re so lucky to have the woods so close by, there is a children’s playground built into the woodland and a bmx track so children can enjoy the space.
When my older 2 boys were younger, we lived in London and the streets and local parks were their playground. They were good kids and I knew roughly where they’d be if I needed them. I had an ‘open door’ policy, our door was always open to them and their friends for drinks, snacks, lunch, toilet or a safe place to be for a while. They had the odd mischievous moment, #2 came home one day soaked to the skin and ran upstairs sheepishly, 2 minutes later a frail lady knocked and told me she’d just thrown a bucket of water over him and followed him home as he was playing ‘knock down ginger’ at her door and she was poorly. I made him come down to apologise and told him off, apologised to the lady and that was that. I have to admit to having a giggle later on as I remember being 8 and doing the same (without getting caught!) as I’m sure most did. It was naughty but hardly deserving of an asbo. He’s now almost 20 and working at the same engineering job he’s been at since he left school at 16, my eldest has just graduated from University. Neither has a criminal record or an asbo. 🙂

My point is, we’re so quick to judge kids behaviour and adults parenting skills nowadays, they really can’t do right for doing wrong. If the children sit indoors playing games consoles or watching TV- the parents are bad, they play outside and their parents are still wrong because it’s irresponsible or the kids might get an asbo.
Really? Is this where we are now? Have people forgotten what being a child was about? Full of wonder, full of energy, a bit mischievous but today’s discovers, explorers, creators, inventors… are tomorrow’s Lord Sugars, Richard Bransons, Larry Pages, Cesar Pellis and Sir Norman Fosters.

How can it be ok if we imprison our children and stop them from reaching their potentials by holding them back out of fear of being branded ‘bad parents’?

 

 
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Posted by on August 17, 2013 in Family, Kids, Life, News, Parenting

 

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Syria; A Day of Protest

As a mother of 5 beautiful children, it’s easy to consume myself in my own little world creating happy memories for my children and shielding them from the atrocities of the world.

My children are aware of war, my husband was a British soldier and he (we) lost a good friend in Afghanistan and have seen many others go and luckily return, but that’s as much as they need to know, good soldiers fight bad soldiers. They aren’t aware of the civilians caught up in bloody conflict.

I was horrified when I read the article ‘Syria: the tipping point’ in The Times on Wednesday.

Last Friday, 49 children were killed in Houla by President Assad’s Shabiha thugs. Killed…. not just killed, horrifically murdered, some shot, some knifed with machetes, some had limbs hacked off, heads or faces sliced off, eyes gouged out, you get the jist.

108 civilians were executed, 34 were women and 49 were children, some babies wearing just nappies, some toddlers but all innocent.

The world cannot just sit here and watch this happen, we have to do something. These were innocent people… Whole families were slaughtered in their own homes and their homes ransacked and torched while we were tucking our children up in their warm safe beds.   Our children who only by sheer luck, were born into our families, in our safe countries with us being able to tuck them into bed unafraid of any real threat.

Syria’s honorary consul general in California said Wednesday he has defected from the regime of  President Bashar Assad in protest of the killings last week in the town of Houla.

Hazem Chehabi, reached at his home in Orange County, said he had resigned his post and severed association with Assad’s government in protest of the attack Friday that left more than 100 Syrians dead, most of them women and children.

“You get to a point where your silence or inaction becomes ethically or morally unacceptable,” Chehabi said, describing the Houla killings as a “barbaric” incident with which he couldn’t be associated.” (LA Times)

The Uk Parent Bloggers have united today in a call for action in Syria. We need our voices to be heard loud and clear with the same message…. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN.

We are ONE WORLD, they are OUR CHILDREN, we cannot sit on our sofas watching this on the news and do absolutely nothing!

If you do nothing else today please do this… Don’t just look away…

  1.  Please sign this  Save the Children petition now, calling on world leaders to put in place an immediate and legally binding “Resolution to Protect Children” that carries the full force of international law on those attacking children and other civilians. Please sign it online… it takes all but 2 minutes.
  2. Sign this Amnesty International petition which is calling on the Russian Minister of Foreign Affairs to ask Russia to stop supplying the Syrian Government with arms.
  3. Sign the Avaaz petition here calling on the UN to protect civilians.

Finally, there is a protest at the Syrian Embassy in London on Sunday 10th June from 12-2pm. If you can support it, please be there.

Please do something, we need to do something to stop this ever happening again.

(Thank you to Dorky Mum where I got details of the petitions and protest)

 
 

Neglecting my Blogging Responsibilities!

Just a quick message to say Hi.

My blog been neglected of late but I have had lots going on.

#4 is only 4 years old and has had some health issues and is under a Paediatrician, Respiratory Clinic, Dietitian, ENT specialist… He’s had teeth out, blood tests, heart scans, special diets and is due for a sleep study soon.

#3 is having his own issues with the ASD.

#1 is doing well at uni and #2 is still looking for work.

Other than that, things are ok and we’re getting through these tough times!

Be back soon guys.

 

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God Bless Tariq Jahan.

After my last 2 posts on the London rioting which had spread across major cities in the UK, I was moved to tears tonight by a dignified man clutching a photo of his son who along with 2 other young men, were killed in last night’s rioting. This is a tragic end to 3 young men’s lives and completely needless.

Tariq Jahan’s words are ringing in my ears and they are now all over twitter and Tariq Jahan’s name is trending.

The words that seem to have brought the rioting to a standstill;  “I have lost my son – if you want to lose yours step forward, otherwise calm down and go home. Please. I believe in divine fate and destiny, and it was his destiny and his fate, and now he’s gone” Tariq Jahan

His dignity, wisdom and faith has done more tonight than any politician, police officer, or community leader has done all week. My thoughts and prayers are with the family. May they get peace now.

RIP Haroon Jahad, 21, Shazad Ali, 30 and Abdul Musavir, 31

Michael Seamark says in the Daily Mail;

  • Tariq Jahan Urges people not to seek revenge for his son’s death
  • Desperately tried to perform CPR on his dying son Haroon, 21
  • Brothers Shazad Ali, 30 and Abdul Musavir, 31, were the other fatalities
  • Trio were were knocked down by a car doing 50mph
  • Prime Minister offers his condolences to the victims’ families
  • Racial tensions simmer in Winson Green area of Birmingham

It would have been so easy to demand ‘an eye for an eye’ and risk a race war on the riot-torn streets.

But with immense dignity, Tariq Jahan, whose 21-year-old son was mown down and killed in an apparently racist murder in Birmingham, appealed for calm yesterday.

Haroon Jahan was one of three young Muslims who died after they were thrown into the air ‘like tennis balls’ when they were hit by a car which mounted the pavement at 50mph while they were trying to protect local shops from looters on Tuesday night.

With some Muslims calling for ‘retribution’, 45-year-old Mr Jahan – who desperately tried to revive his dying son – urged people not to seek revenge.

Standing on a wall in front of a crowd he said: ‘I lost my son. Blacks, Asians, whites – we all live in the same community.

‘Why do we have to kill one another? Why are we doing this?

‘Step forward if you want to lose your sons. Otherwise, calm down and go home – please.’

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2024375/BIRMINGHAM-RIOTS-Tariq-Jahan-tells-thugs-killed-son-Haroon-2-friends.html#ixzz1Ufo01iMP

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This was never about race. It was about the youth of today violently vandalising and stealing from their own communities.

Now it’s an excuse to blame everyone else, it’s always someone else’s colour, someone else’s faith, someone else’s culture.

Let’s not keep overshadowing these issues, these deaths. Let us deal with issues as they come and move forward….

And accept that we are all responsible in some small way.

 
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Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Believe, Faith, Family, Life, News, Thoughts

 

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Reasons for the Thuggery… Excuses, Excuses.

Now for the bit that makes me really angry… The reasons that are being given for all this madness…

Now please bear with me and accept my utmost apologies for the swearing, when things upset me, they REALLY upset me.

These kids have spent the last 4 nights hunting in packs, acting like feral animals and causing absolute chaos in their own communities!

Something my grandad used to say rings in my ears… “Don’t shit on your own doorstep. Even cats won’t shit in their own back garden.” These kids didn’t give a shit… most of them seemed that unconcerned at getting caught that they didn’t even cover their faces and there were cameras everywhere, some were taking footage on their own phones!

On sky news was a lad of about 15/16yrs old, his face covered and when asked by the reporter why his face was covered if he was law-abiding, he replied “I’m not law-abiding though.” he continued to say that he was there to ‘piss the police off and get money’. What the hell?

Words used have been ‘deprived’, ‘oppressed’, ‘disadvantaged’. I’m so sorry but this is a complete crock of shit!

This poor disadvantaged youth of today with their ‘uniforms’ of £90 Nike trainers, £35 trackies & £50 hoodies… they have no future, because they really can’t be arsed to work for minimum wage or quit the weed, they’re deprived of an education because they didn’t work hard enough, therefore failing their GCSE’s and having no respect for their teachers or their education, and disrupting lessons and threatening teachers, and now apparently, they are fighting oppression… They are obviously living in Libya or some other dictatorship because they damn well ain’t living in England!!

We have to admit, it must be a struggle for them to get out of bed after a night on the stella or the weed and drag their lazy arses out of bed before lunchtime to go down the social to sign on every fortnight to get their free money and rent paid.

Oh the poor disadvantaged, deprived, oppressed youth of today. 😦
These kids don’t know real disadvantage!! We are LUCKY to live in this country! I know people who’ve had to look into the eyes of kids with no clothes to wear, their parents have been killed for even uttering what they really think and these kids eat off rubbish tips! Or those kids in the 3rd world countries that are MAKING the clothes these thugs wear, the kids that have to support their families by risking their health and sometimes their lives in jobs where they’re grateful to earn a pittance. Now THAT’S disadvantaged youth with no future!

This was thuggery with a blatant disregard for the rest of society.

These kids DO have a future… if they use their own parents as an example of how NOT to be.

I’m sorry if I offend anyone here, but I can speak from experience… there are way too many people in my generation who are in my position that use their circumstances as a damn excuse to behave badly.

As I’ve mentioned before, I didn’t have the very best start in life but this isn’t an excuse to raise my kids like feral animals.

I was raised in care so does that mean I have to give up on my kids because that’s what my parents did?

I was a teenage single mum on benefits, so does that mean I should think the world owes me and not have ambition?

I lived on a shitty run down council estate, so does that mean I should’ve kept the inside of that flat looking like a shit-hole?

NO, people. You make your own future. You start by not blaming the past, then accepting the present and changing the future.

I am so fucking pissed off with people making damn excuses.

These parents are trash, they cannot have missed the news, if they did, they can’t have missed the High Street was completely trashed!

What the fuck were they doing while their kids (some as young as 9 and 10 years old!!) were smashing the shit out of good hard-working people’s lives and working their way through our cities like a vile cancer, stealing from them up until 2am?!!

Certainly not raising their children like the rest of us!!

Message to these ‘Parents’… Do what the job title says and PARENT your damn kids!!

Stop expecting the streets to raise them because WE live on those streets and WE have to put up with their intimidation, their abuse, their rudeness, their bad manners, and their complete lack of compassion toward their fellow human being.

There’s a problem with the streets raising kids… the people on them your kids are looking up to. That lad was mugged for a bike, beaten up (so badly his jaw was broken), and bleeding profusely he was robbed again. This wasn’t the worst area in London… this was Barking!!

Now I’ve lived in Barking, Bow and Millwall for most of my life, and I lived in NW London for a fair few years (visiting friends on the estates of Barking during that time) and I can honestly say that this is most certainly NOT the norm for Barking. In 30-odd years and with 4 sons, I never even knew of anyone that was mugged in Barking. Sure it happened occasionally, but someone getting beaten by one group of teenagers and then mugged by another? No.

When we lived in NW London 2 of my sons went to the infamous St Georges in Maida Vale, where Headteacher Phillip Lawrence was murdered, and gangs are commonplace in the area and in the school, and muggings and violence commonplace in the areas surrounding the school. Both my eldest sons were mugged at times, and it’s a dangerous place, especially for other youths. Youth on youth crime is the worst. They can’t walk through the estates if they’re not local or their face isn’t known without being in danger. Even though both my kids knew some of the younger gang members from school, out of school things would be very different. If my boys were to go on the estate with someone that lived there to play xbox or something, that kid would get trouble for bringing him.

We lived in NW London and St George’s is West London (or north weezy and weezy!) and the gang fights spilled into school over postcodes. My 17yr old son lost 3 mates that got stabbed to death by the time he was 15. A guy was axed to death 2 mins from my flat at 10am. A bus driver was attacked with a nail gun ‘for a laugh’. A 15 year old was shot in our local chip shop. I’m lucky, I still have my kids. They’ve only been mugged a few times. This was normal for us in NW8. Barking… please don’t glamourise this way of living.

The kids in Barking and other areas (for some ridiculous reason) want to copy what’s going on in London and it’s not big, it’s not hard, and it’s not fucking funny. People die. Mothers never get overthe death of their children. And it never stops. Thank god that Barking isn’t that bad… Yet.

Things can change there, it’s not too late for people to stamp there foot down.
Don’t let your kids see what mine have had to.

PARENTS LISTEN!!


Raise your OWN fucking kids and stop expecting the streets to raise them! Stop sticking them in their bedrooms surrounded by the latest TV, Games Console, DVD’s, Games, Laptops etc. That ain’t parenting!!! That’s fucking neglect!!

Letting 10 year olds play 18rated games full of sex, drugs, car theft, crime and violence seem ok? Will it seem ok when theystops being able to tell the difference between these games and reality? When they’re the ‘youngers’ and running drugs for the ‘mandem’? When they becomes the ‘mandem’ and get shot or stabbed? Seem far fetched?

Open your eyes… look around the estates… at the 15yr old girl pushing a buggy, the 16yr old boy with the tag round his ankle, the mother standing by the hearse with the ‘SON’ wreath…

Mums, set a damn example to your daughters, I don’t want to go to pubs and clubs and see your 13 year old daughter’s breasts barely covered by the ‘top’ only fit for a pole dancer. I certainly don’t need to see her shagging some random fella down some alley on the way home! And YES, it does happen, it happens more often than people think! Dress and act like a MOTHER. YOU decided it was time to have kids, so YOU have to take responsibility for you actions and change your life.

Teach them some goddamn self-respect and self-worth! Set them curfews and boundaries and teach them that they don’t need to give themselves away to men to get noticed. Teach her that ‘Linking’ with a boy and having sex with him and his 3 mates is NOT how it’s supposed to be, and don’t be naive, your daughter’s ARE doing this! Give them a decent male role-model that is going to stick around. Teach them that emulating sexual positions and sounds in public is bloody disgusting and again they should have self respect! Teach her to be a lady!

Teach your son’s to respect women, you are his mother and a woman… he should respect that. Teach him that ‘linking’ up’ with a girl/girls just for sex is not on! Teach your son that his sperm is precious, it’s your potential grandchildren… teach him NOT to share it with just anyone! Teach him self-respect and self-worth. Teach him to respect girl’s reputations. Locker room talk destroys girl’s lives when they’re young. Explain to your sons that when a girl with no self-asteem feels she has to sleep with boys to get them to like her, then get’s treated like shit and dumped, is it fair that she then becomes a ‘slag’ after 2 or 3 disrespecting boys has had their way?

Teach him that to cry is not showing weakness. Teach him that to walk away from a fight is not being a ‘pussy’ but only fight when it’s absolutely necessary. Teach him that when it IS absolutely necessary, that a man fights with his fists… he may be beaten but if he is, he lives to see another day. Teach him to be a gentleman!

DAD’s…. yes you… if you’re still around.

…and I don’t mean when it’s convenient for you, I mean whenever your child NEEDS you to be there.

No girlfriend, friends, sports, pastimes etc. should be more important than your child. Your child needs you even when it seems they don’t. In some areas, good male role models are hard to find, especially in the more deprived areas.

See the connection there???… NO fathers at home with jobs=kids living in poverty!!

Proud of yourself now?

Get a grip. You don’t need to be with your babymother for that child to grow up well, you just need to be there for the child. Not wearing that condom became a lifelong commitment. Was it worth it? It will be one day. If you stick around and raise that child right. YOU need to show your daughters how men should treat women, and show your sons how to be men.

ALL PARENTS.

Teach your children that they have to work hard to get anything or anywhere in life. crime does NOT pay. Good things happen to good people.

Teach them to value and embrace their education, it’s the key to a better future. Teach them ambition, respect, manners, morals, compassion, empathy, values. How to be patient, how to be dignified, how to be gracious. Praise them at every possible opportunity. Talk to them.

Don’t be your child’s best friend, be their parent… they should have enough friends, no kid looks at their mum as their friend! Set rules, boundaries and curfews and stick to them. Set punishments and stick to them. DON’T be afraid to chastise your child! Smacking your child is NOT illegal. I’m not talking about hitting or physically abusing your children, I’m talking giving a naughty child a smack on the hand, the bum or that back of the leg. There IS a clear line between smacking a child and abusing a child, and I should know having been on the receiving end of both. A smack given by a loving parent in a calm, controlled manner isn’t going to cause any lasting emotional or physical damage. It will make them realise what they did was wrong and it displeased you. Almost everyone in our generation was smacked when we were naughty and we all agree that we grew up with love and respect. People nowadays are afraid of their children, that’s not acceptable. I’m not telling you to smack your children… That’s YOUR choice, I’m just telling you that there IS a choice.

Of course love your children… No-one disputes a parent’s love for their child, but actions speak louder than words. A hug, some praise, or just a smile. Lastly, BE THERE when they need you… Even when they don’t seem to want you around, they’ll need you around. Eat dinner together and spend the time getting to know your kids and what they do when you’re not around. You’ll be surprised…
If you work, then ensure someone is there for your kids when you can’t be.

If you’re not sure if you can do it, there’s no shame in signing up to a parenting course.

Parenting is a HUGE commitment. Teach your kids this by example.

1. So they grow up successful.

2. so they don’t find out while they’re still kids.

You may not be able to make your OWN lives a complete success, but you CAN ensure your kids lives are.

I’m still trying… Me and my husband are raising 5 kids in a council house and survive on 17 p/a. Apparently, we’d be better off on benefits but we teach our kids that there’s no such thing as a free-ride. There’s no pride in that.

You work and you may have to work damn hard for very little but you do it… the harder you work and the more you better yourself the better you’ll feel about yourself.

I KNOW my kids will grow up with the right attitudes, the right morals, the right values and hopefully successful.

If YOUR child was out until the small hours last night or in the last few nights & they have new trainers, clothes, phone, laptop, TV, games console, games etc. & YOU didn’t buy them, then it’s time to be a parent and teach your little fuckers darlings right from wrong… give them a bloody good slap and march them down to the nearest police station with their newly aquired belongings & do what you should’ve been doing the last 10-20years!

Step to it, we’re waiting!

Don’t get me wrong, I think the media has a part to play. Alex Rogers from Hackney says it much better than me…

http://ymlp.com/zAqsg9

Until next time….

 

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Riots?? In Civilised London??? WTF?!!!

Firstly, I’d like to apologise in advance. There may be some swearing in this post as I’m so angry!

Everyone who knows me, knows I’m a very opinionated woman, with very strong values. I find it difficult to accept that other people can’t have good values or morals as I don’t think it’s that hard, nor do I think you necessarily need to be raised with these morals and values.

I didn’t have the very best start in life. I suffered abuse and neglect. I was taken into care aged 3 and I never felt loved as a child, in fact, I rarely felt ‘liked’. I had a very low self-asteem and I thought I’d amount to nothing. I lived on my own in a bedsit at 16 or 17 still under social services ‘care’ and was deemed ‘institutionalised’ and ‘at risk of being overly dependant on men’. I dabbled in drugs, committed some petty crimes and ended up pregnant at 17.

In fact I was a single mum of 2 by 19 and living in a flat on the 8th floor of a tower block on a shitty council estate.

None of this is an excuse to raise my kids like feral animals.

Last Thursday, Specialist officers from Operation Trident were involved in the pre-planned attempted arrest of a man from Tottenham, 29 year old father of 4 Mark Duggan, which led to him being shot dead by police. There are allegations of the family having to wait 36-48 hours to see the body as well as other issues between them and the police. I don’t want to speculate on the death of this man as I really don’t know the cold hard facts.

Do I think the police were justified? My thinking is that he must have been under surveillance for some time and he ‘allegedly’ had possession of a handgun, and I do believe in  ‘live by the sword, die by the sword’. If someone chooses to carry an illegal firearm, they have to be willing to use it. And somewhere down the line someone will shoot at them, whether it be the police or another criminal.
Do I think he fired it at police? I don’t know, though evidence suggests not.

Do I think the police can make mistakes? Of course. They are human the same as the rest of us.

The bottom line is that because of this, the family and friends of Mark Duggan and approximately 300 people had begun a peaceful protest to demand answers from the police, this erupted into violence…

From there it seems, every youth in London that claimed to be ‘disadvantaged’ has jumped on the bandwagon and instigated violence and vandalism across our country’s Capital city.

Many town centres have been destroyed… shops smashed up, looted, and raised to the ground. Cars smashed up, overturned and set alight. Bricks and missiles being hurled at the police.

There is no reason for this now, I keep hearing phrases like ‘mindless vandalism‘… this isn’t mindless!! It’s a premeditated, pre-planned operation! Kids have been using BBM, Facebook, Twitter and suchlike to organise rioting and looting across our great capital and the police just haven’t had the manpower on the street to deal with it! People are frightened, youths are going feral and there seems to be no stopping them.

Here is a video of an injured Malaysian student. Ashraf Haziq was attacked and robbed randomly in Barking. He is now in Hospital with a broken jaw, and broken tooth and awaiting an operation. He’d been on his way to visit a friend when he was beaten and had his bike stolen, then this happened and he also lost his mobile phone and wallet.

Please be warned, it is VERY distressing.

It’s hard to escape talk of the riots, it’s been 4 nights now and if you take a walk down any High Street in practically any town you’ll see the damage that these thugs have done. Once they finish looting they set what’s left on fire. It seems that every JD Sports, Foot Locker, PC World, music shop, games shop, phone shop, designer clothes shop etc. has been looted… Waterstone’s, the book shop has amazingly remained unscathed.

More seriously, people’s homes have been destroyed, their businesses, cars, everything. The bustling shopping areas of London look like a warzone.

These are from Barking, one of the lesser hit places.

But then amazingly, out of this devastation, a new community spirit is emerging… People are vowing NOT to allow these thugs destroy our city. Monday night, a few people on twitter decided that they were going to start something new… #riotcleanup began! Communities were coming together and planning clean-up operations everywhere that had been destroyed. Yesterday morning armed with brooms, gloves and black sacks, thousands of people came out and swept the streets clean.

The Wonderful People of Clapham!

Of course we have the fabulous Emergency Services to thank for the relatively quiet night last night, a few towns outside of London were targeted… Manchester, Birmingham and a few others, but the presence of 16000 police on London’s streets may have scared the little thugs back under their rocks!

And I HAVE to mention the wonderful Sikhs of Southall! Hundreds of Sikh men, patrolled the streets outside their Gurdwara (and also stood guard outside the local Mosque while Muslims were worshipping!) Peaceful and dignified but not willing to put up with thuggery from British youth.
The British Asians of this country showed the EDL (English Defence League) what defending England is all about!

Though the EDL haven’t done much defending at all! In fact they sat in a pub in Eltham getting drunk all day yesterday, tying up police resources as they were risking public order!

As was tweeted last night… ‘ Bloody immigration. We let these Sikhs into our country and all they do is defend our boroughs and communities’. ;0)

This brings me to add a bit of humour to the post, this wasn’t about the riots but it always makes me smile. ;0)

 
 

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